A Memoir - A Thanksgiving Day Poem for 2009

God you call upon my name I beknow
I create firm fortress of belial
I set walls with mortar of denial
I hide within its coolness and shadow
I’m confident in a demise I sow
Beckoning of spring and life ambrosial
Upon me springs Your Spirit agential
I’m overwhelmed by Your love’s overflow

Your kindness is terrible when awoke
What I built was not stone nor abutment
I see life as it is: glass, mirror, smoke
I am naked, fragile, weak and then spent
“You’re weak, bankrupt; I am strong, rich” God spoke
Haze to truth by love my soul’s adjustment

My soul has never known such deep despair
My inheritance of guilt brings me shame
I have naught of myself to cling or claim
Grief in my soul due to this sin affair
My name, when you call it, sounds sweet and fair
Consumed by grief you beckon me by name
Inside out; my shame exchanged for your fame
Drawn by your embrace Your Presence to share

General bowed down, a king on his face
As you make me complete, an heir - whole, healed
My life wanton to a desolate place
Raised up, my place in your abode revealed
Your Spirit beckons me come to your grace
By Your peace my just sentence You repealed

My hand and my knee in gravel and stone
With people from around the global sea
Rich, poor, slave, free, male, female, Greek and me
Surrounded, I find that I’m not alone
Sing united the Name that does atone
Throne, barn, cross, grave –offense of high degree
Jesus became a curse by God’s decree
In awe, I bow at the cross I now own

My inheritance was shame with death due
Nothing have I to give for His renown
Vividly, His blood has an endless view
Instantly His heritage is my crown
Now I’m called righteous and am seen as true
I’m clothed, His righteousness is now my gown

Once upon a time, Antiquity said
O my soul, delight yourself in the Lord
A call of action I always ignored
To enjoy God? Not me, rather be dead
Now by faith graciously given – I’m led
My soul’s purpose has God as its reward
My voice culminates in a joyful chord
My soul’s result is joy, for which He bled

Wait patiently on the Lord, O my soul
Wait upon his way, be my heart’s vision
My soul’s command, my heart’s happy extole
The fight in life takes a new rotation
I live, but struggle with this fleshly whole
King Jesus is my Crutch and my Champion

Life tells that God’s faithfulness never fails
Yahweh’s promises I cannot discount
My future hope comes from a true account
I groan eagerly in my painful veil
Jesus tells me impatience to curtail
For his timing is not slow as I count
He is waiting for the number to mount
Then a full feast when the bridegroom we hail

You are more precious than a bird or bloom
They have beds of soil and houses of tree
Brief affliction holds no proper power
God’s perfect plan is timeless in degree
It points to His grace throne any hour
There is more to you than dirt, fire, sky, sea

Holy in Christ Jesus I desire
My rebellious lusts I want You to fight
So persecution is part of my plight
For Jesus’ name I toil but don’t tire
His affable grace and joy make Him sire
My life not my own is now my delight
In the midst of this hardness I invite
From my side God never will retire

I am an alien and a stranger
I am a child of another world
Here I stand on this side; A dark mirror
A veiled light, fog of soupy night unfurled
A scale refracted; Salt keeps its power
Lord let me see you; Don’t be concealed